Codependency is an emotional dependency on a relationship that is not healthy and is very dysfunctional. This condition can destroy a person’s relationship’s health and effect their jobs and careers. It’s been found that it is passed down generationally.
TEN CHARACTERISTICS OF THOSE WITH CODEPENDENT BEHAVIOR
- Try and solve other peoples problems
- Feel the need to offer advice even when your not asked to do so
- You feel bad when other people make mistakes
- Take responsibility for other peoples actions
- Suffer from low self-esteem
- Need other people to tell you your a good person to feel good about yourself
- Feel like a victim
- Use manipulation, shame, or guilt to control others’ behavior
- Accept verbal or physical abuse from others
- Worry about the silliest things
Many codependents are addicted to Drugs or Alcohol, food and may find themselves addicted to sex or other forms of addiction to help with unresolved issues and emotions. This kind of behavior is not only making the codependent worse but their mental and physical well-being is at risk.
Trying to please others so they will like or love the codependent and they will go out of their way to please another, hoping to get love or approval and If the approval is not given, the codependent will feel victimized.
Codependents tend to be obsessive and worry about things that normally wouldn’t bother another person. They focus on other people’s problems and lives rather than their own and then wonder why they don’t have energy for their own lives.
Codependents feel responsible for other people, thoughts, choices, wants and needs and ultimate destiny. They may feel angry their help isn’t effective, they anticipate other peoples needs and may feel angry when they are having problems and people do not help them they way they may have helped them.
They over commit themselves and feel harried and pressured. They may feel bored and empty if they don’t have a crisis in their lives. May believe other people are making them crazy.
They have a tendency to pick on themselves for everything from the way they talk to the way they dress act or behave and are afraid to make a mistake. They also find themselves feeling different than anyone else and come from repressed dysfunctional families.
They may have also come from verbal, physical or sexually abusive homes but deny their family was ever troubled. They never quite feel good enough.
People with codependency have difficulty with relationships, they can end up being toxic abusive but what can you do when you see this may be happening in your relationship with this person. A codependent reaction might be to think they are not the problem but if the codependent is willing to see that they have this problem and are willing to work through it the relationship may have a chance but it will take a lot of work and there are counselors available to help with these issues.
If you need someone to talk to, check out Codepnednets Anonymous