Arguing is common during relationships if couples are not having some sort of disagreement or argument believe it or not there is something wrong in the relationship. Either one or the other is backing down and not speaking up or the other, so it is good to argue at some point but learning to argue in a constructive way is key to a healthy relationship.


Stress hormones are released during these kinds or unhealthy situations and they can actually take out the smartest part of your brain thus leading us to do or say things we normally wouldn’t do, when our adrenaline is released we go into a fight or flight mode and some tend to abandon or leave their partner during this phase of the argument.

Some people believe leaving, walking out or slamming doors during an argument is helpful but in reality leaving during the heat of an argument (unless there is violence or any other destructive behavior at the moment) can turn your partner into a stranger, they may then feel abandonment issues.

The best way to deal with these kinds of heated arguments is to approach your partner in a non-threatening way, tell your partner that you need a moment to regroup, take a deep breath, possibly sitting across the room from your partner and letting them know you are still present for them but you need this moment to calm down and access the situation so you can say and do the right thing for the particular discussion or argument you are having.

At this point respect your partner and give them this moment to calm down from the situation so as they can come back and be able to communicate in a non-threatening loving way, it may be hard to stop in the middle of a heated discussion but understand that you yourself may also benefit from the “time out” so to speak. so you can also reassess the situation and be able to think more clearly.

When it’s time for both of you to resume the discussion at that point you should both be in a better state of mind and able to resume the discussion and make it much more productive and constructive discussion rather than a destructive situation. This may take some practice but in time you will be able to do this.


Understanding why your partner may have certain reactions to certain situations that may not normally affect one person’s emotions but may affect your partner’s emotions. In doing so and learning your partner’s emotional trigger points, you can use these in a positive loving kind way. No I am not saying we have to walk on the proverbial eggshells when its comes to our partner’s emotions but how we react or treat our partner’s emotions has a positive effect, so instead of your partner viewing you as the enemy your partner will be able to open up and communicate with you if you approach him or her in a loving compassionate understanding way. Your on your way to a happier and loving relationship with communication being the key to any relationship.


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