I have talked with many woman who are not sure what brought their relationship to the point they are needing therapy, some hadn’t even argued with their husbands or partner, although not having any arguments at all is not a good sign either.
Arguing can be a healthy way to express your feelings and get things out, not arguing when little things come up that a couple should address means you may not be communicating or worse it could mean your at the point of not caring about the relationship.
This kind of silence in a relationship means that you might be shutting down and not wanting to deal with your partners emotions and this could lead to a break-up or separation. It’s very important for each partner to address any situation or conflict in a healthy way
Signs you are being silent
You may be seeing these signs if you haven’t debated with your partner in the last few months or in fact you haven’t had an interesting conversation about anything in the past few weeks or months. This means you have disconnected, whether its your partner that has initiated the silence or you have, it means your avoiding what is going on at the core of you relationship
Why is it such a poison?
When there is healthy debate or even heated arguing in a relationship, that means that both people are trying to get their voices heard. They are trying to get their points across. They are trying convince their partners of something or convince themselves. Any way you slice it – opinions are out on the table and both of you know where the other stands. With silence, no one knows where the other stands. There is a lot of guessing and assuming, because no one is being heard. And we all know where that can lead. Being ignored causes the same chemical reaction that’s is released during physical abuse also by ignoring your partner your basically teaching them to live without you .
What can I do about it?
Relationship silence is easy to cure. Just start talking. The biggest hurdle is for someone to take the first step. The second is to begin to understand why you both shut down to begin with. What was the last big argument you had? And what was said? in some cases your partner may be bringing up an old subject that her or she may be trying to avoid but it could really be bothering your partner. Not addressing this issue that may be torturing your partner but he or she may be afraid to bring it up, silence has gotten beyond the point of anyone taking that first leap of faith – you may need an impartial person like a counselor to help you regain healthy communication again.
Quick Tip: If you are afraid to talk to your partner because of what his reaction may be – ask yourself “what am I afraid of?” What would the worst case scenario be if I demanded to be heard? Do I trust my partner not to judge me, berate me, or leave me if I speak up?