Lighthouse That Built Me

Tragedies and events, whether happening in your past, present or unforeseen events, lead us to the person we are today.

Have you ever wondered why me? Have you ever wondered why do things happen in this world that you just can’t understand? Have you ever lied in your bed at night wondering what this world we live in is all about? What’s my purpose? What else in life is out here for me?

Then your mind drifts to something that happened when you were 4 years old and you say to yourself WHAT are you doing thinking about all this stuff?

So this brings me to what I call the Tornado Effect.

I describe this effect as overthinking situations, tossing countless seemingly millions of thoughts and feelings around in your head all at one time. If you can imagine this at all possible (Sigh),  if your anything like me, I’ve had sleepless nights where my mind wonders to places that take me from 4 years old to my current day’s events… Wow, talk about a mental beating!

So I turn my thoughts to prayer, saying, God, I need sleep! So I have learned this particular exercise always works for me enabling me to fastly fall sleep.

This is what I do: I build what’s called “my dream house” which usually has me falling asleep within the first few trees and flowers planted in the yard. I usually don’t even make it to the front steps.

This also brings me to the song that Miranda Lambert sang “The House That Built Me.”  I’ll describe this song and its meaning to me…

I was 5 years old when I was moved to a small coastal town in Mendocino, California a lighthouse station with three fairly big cottages for the military families to reside while taking care of this beautiful majestic light station.

Yes, there is an actual movie made at the Pt Cabrillo Light Station called “Majestic” starring Jim Carrey. If you ever see the lighthouse or the Movie you’ll love it. We lived in the middle house called the Head Light Keepers Cottage.

My father, the head light keeper at this place, gave me many unbelievable adventures, plans, dreams that to this day I carry with me.

I could say this lighthouse built me and I am so very grateful to the volunteers who restored and saved this place I cherish with all of my heart. In fact, this place is very spiritual to me. When life gets me down and I feel I don’t have anywhere else to run to, I visit or put myself in this place, “my little Church” my sanctuary.

I’m blessed to be able to visit and spend time here, It would be rather vain and egotistical of me to think that this place was saved for me but I’d sure love this if It were true. I remember (that at the time what an awful day) when my father rather sternly and mater of factly announced, “I received orders today from Presidio,” (Spanish for fortified military settlement in San Francisco) “we’re transferring!” Well, I was nearly 9 years old. I ran out of the house and ran as fast as I could with tears running down my face and looking towards the sky. I said, GOD, I am leaving my spirit here!!!!!!

Needless to say, I think I made that promise to God “true” because if you’ve gotten this far reading this, it’s still here in my heart and soul. Thank God for little things like these because he’s watching you. He knows your heart and soul and your house is in your heart so build on this. 

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