Before you can determine whether you’re addicted to love or not, it can be helpful to understand how the chemistry of love works, and as you may have guessed it starts with lust.
Lust: this is the first stage of love, an enthusiastic desire for sex and these 2 hormones associated with falling in love for both men and woman are the hormones called Estrogen and Testosterone
Attraction: This is the stage where the couple are truly love-struck and practically can’t think of anything or anyone else but this person, scientists say the hormone responsible for this are the 3 hormones called adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin
The initial stages of falling in love activate your stress response, increasing your adrenalin and cortisol. Our hearts flutter, we get butterflies in our stomachs, we start to sweat at the sight of our new love; these are the effects of adrenalin and cortisol.
Serotonin, one of love’s most important chemicals, may explain why when you’re falling in love. Your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts. There have been studies of couples madly in love for less than six months, these studies were done to see if the brain mechanisms that cause you to constantly think about your lover, were related to the brain mechanisms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients. Also, this is a period of time where new lovers will often see this new relationship as perfect and seeing no flaws in one another “Seeing the world through Rose colored glasses” and often ignoring early warning signs that this person may not be suitable for them in the end.
Then there are the hormones responsible for attachment. These are called oxytocin and vasopressin. Oxytocin being released when a couple orgasms, deepens the attachment between partners which is why it is also called the bonding hormone.
Vasopressin is referred to as the Monogamy hormone. Its another very important hormone responsible for in the long-term commitment stage released after sex.
This hormone was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole, seeing prairie voles indulged in far more sex than needed for the purposes of reproduction. They also, like humans, formed a fairly stable pair bond. Voles were given a drug that suppressed the effect of vasopressin, diminishing their devotion and losing the need to protect their partner from new partners.
Seeing as we have so many hormones rushing through our bodies with these stages of falling in love, some people can actually become addicted to love, and it can be as addictive as drugs, alcohol or any other addictive substance.
If you find yourself asking the question am “Am I addicted to love?” Sex? Or have you been in relationships where many times they have failed, or you’ve felt your partner should “fix you,” or feel like your not whole without a relationship? Or have you had many failed relationships based on infidelity, or have you found yourself in many toxic, unhealthy relationships that you can’t seem to leave? You may want to consider a 12 step program SLAA, that specializes in love and sex addiction. While working the steps, love addicts might find themselves reviewing their past
In attending SLAA, love addicts may be asked to refrain from being involved in any type of romantic or sexual relationship while working this program. This helps the participants learn about themselves and become more healthy individuals. Working a solid program in SLAA can help love addicts become aware of the ways to become less dependent on other’s to solve all of their problems and needs, which in turn helps you become a more healthy individual and therefore, able to find a yourself in healthy relationships rather than toxic and unhealthy relationships leading to unrealistic expectations of your future partners.