You did the unspeakable and broke your partner’s trust and in the process, their heart is shattered. No matter what you did, it’s not going to be easy for your partner to trust you again, but it can be done in more ways than you might think.
If your partner is willing to forgive you for whatever it was that broke the trust in the first place, consider yourself lucky. You at least have the chance to win the trust of your partner back and get things back on track.
Trust in a relationship is one of the most important things. I even refer it as one of, “The Sacred Bonds,” and when it’s broken we feel a great sadness. Some would describe it as a loss, almost as bad as someone experiencing grief, while wondering if you’ll ever be the same towards that person again. Sometimes we can’t get over it and this is when one or the other has no other choice but to leave the relationship seeing it as irreparable damage.
Don’t lose hope, the journey to healing broken trust is a long one but it can be done if the partners are willing to work at it and be dedicated to never repeat this mistake again and regain the trust of his or her partner.
Let’s look at some ways to help repair your partner’s trust in you.
- First of all, apologize to your partner and sincerely and mean it.
- Listen to your partner’s response
- Prove yourself, that you can be dependable and trustworthy
- Do not give any excuses for your behavior
- Take responsibility and do not blame your partner for your mistakes
- In asking for forgiveness, your partner may ask you certain things, but avoid making promises that you won’t be able to keep and explain to your partner why. If this is the case, discuss a more realistic choice you will both be satisfied with.
- Be patient with your partner during this process. They are hurt. Be open and as honest as possible. You may be sick of hearing your partner ask the same questions over and over, but let your partner know you’re there for him or her and you will talk about it as long as it takes for him or her to be ok with whatever it was that broke the trust.
- Your partner may ask for time apart. He or she may not want to break it off with you, but they just need time to put things into perspective. Give your partner this time, you may want to resolve this situation quickly but you’re not the one that has been hurt. Your partner could be devastated. So if your partner asks for a few days, then by all means, respect this time and do not call or contact him or her. Do set a time when you can resume the contact and be able to talk if they are ok with it.
- When the time is right to resume whatever it is you need to talk about, try and not to dwell on it for too long. Answering your partner’s questions honestly and openly, try and not belittle or tell him or her that they are overreacting. Remember, you are not him or her, and they have their own feelings. You have no right to tell them how they should feel. Your partner may be feeling insecure, understand that is a normal emotion. Remember to be patient, loving, dedicated and honest towards your partner.
It is very important to just be yourself during this process. Don’t try to over impress your partner or try to over do it. This process will take time, sometimes maybe even months. During this healing process, it is very important to practice very astute communication skills.
Keep in mind, trust is earned. Even early on in the relationship, you didn’t have your partner’s 100% trust it was earned. Using some of these tips you can be on your way to a full recovery of trust in your relationship. It takes time but it can happen.
Trust is like glass if you break it’s never the same again, but then again, look up the practice of Wabi Sabi. Anything broken is repaired with pure gold (A Japanese practice), so when repairing your relationship, think of this practice of Wabi Sabi, and you could not only repair your relationship but make it more beautiful that ever before.